A unique look at comparison

Comparison, some of us know it as the thief of joy. Why? Because usually when we compare ourselves to something we deem to be greater than us it usually results in us feeling worse about ourselves. Social media has provided proof of this notion. Self-esteem has plummeted in youth and adults alike due to watching everyone around us being or appearing to be great and waiting impatiently and praying for our time to be great has a tremendous impact on our thoughts and how we view ourselves. I’ll be honest, I ask myself when I post certain things that look “big” or “amazing” I wonder how this is impacting others. I hope I’m inspiring others to be great and letting them know that I am just like them but I’m not ignorant to the fact that somewhere, someone is watching me and believing that I have something that they do not, that I am something they cannot be. This could not be further from the truth. While my calling and life is different from theirs, many different types of greatness are found within us all. Stupid social media lol, oh how I hate/love you. I’m sure we have heard all of this, but I would be crazy not to start with the obvious so now, let’s touch on comparison in a way we talk about far less. Let’s go deeper if you’re willing. Sometimes, comparison brings us an ill-timed comfort. Meaning sometimes we actually compare ourselves to make us feel better at times when we need to feel the press to BECOME BETTER. Sometimes we rob ourselves of that push to do better, be better, become more by comparing ourselves to things that aren’t so great. Example, sometimes we mention what we could be doing when we should mention what we should be doing. Instead of feeling the press to become better leaders, parents, employees, spouses etc; we compare ourselves to those who are far worse to make us feel better about where we lack. We usually start out by saying “at least I’m not like such and such,” this person usually being on skid row, or some type of completely burned out, lacking or evil human being. Often, these examples are extreme. We will compare ourselves to the worst of the worst in an attempt to tell ourselves we really aren’t that bad. I wonder why, when we are confronted with the OPPORTUNITY to become the BEST, we compare ourselves to the absolute WORST. Alcholics comparing themselves to drug addicts, verbally abusive parents comparing themselves to physical abusive parents. Cheaters comparing themselves to those who beat (guilty in my lifetime more than once) When presented with the opportunity to go for greater within, the only thing we can manage to do is to protect our bruised ego’s (smh) The resulting product is providing ourselves comfort when we needed to feel the burn a bit, to give ourselves a break from having our already fragile sense of self damaged more. The question actually is, does it? My answer………….. a big fat NOPE!!!! It actually does the opposite, the comfort we offer ourselves is often out of time and context and gives us more time to lay in the mud and being less than,MUCH LONGER than we actually should. Why would I brag about being a model prisoner when the real idea I should be thinking of is how I don’t belong in prison and when I get out how I will make sure I don’t return. Refusing to compare ourselves to the bottom of the barrel releases us to reflect on who we really are. The ONLY thing I want to compare myself to is MY DESIGN. My focus should be who I was constructed to be and how I am matching up with that at this point of my life. We won’t always be there, but courage is necessary for those who aspire to go HIGHER! Sparing my ego is not what’s best for me. I’d like to rid myself of ego and pride as it always seems to get me into the dumbest of circumstances. Let’s be honest, when we are feeling low, we compare ourselves to strangers or known ones who appear to be doing better. When we want to feel higher/better, we compare ourselves among those whom we perceive to be lower than us. Sure, its ok to be inspired by or admire others but when we don’t do it properly it results in us feeling inadequate. And when you feel inadequate and have a low view of self, it results in us living, talking and being that way. My conclusion, comparison all the way around is BAD NEWS BEARS. Lets avoid it, run our own race, be inspired by others and avoid the question of why we are not good enough along with comparing ourselves with the very worst just to feel better for the moment 




With much love, thought and consideration


Jovon Dangerfield 





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