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Tone MATTERS 

Why? Why is it so easy to be enraged about what other people have going on while remaining so casual about myself. I notice, as I get older and life shows me it’s ups and downs that it just gets so much harder to wag my finger at someone else with the same intensity I once did. At this point I no longer wonder why older people seem to be so laid back about so many things. They have, at this point simply seen it all. They are not thrown every way with every story and don’t have the bandwith to be so bothered regularly with business that is not their own. I’ve decided, that perspective is the one that vibes with who I am best.  I suppose on a deeper level  it’s become my own weaknesses and shortcomings that slowed my judgement wayyyyy down. Or maybe I realized I’m not God. (A BAR lol) Listen to this closely. WHY DO WE JUDGE EACH OTHER BASED ON ACTIONS BUT OURSELVES BASED ON INTENTIONS. Self-justification lowers the bar for how we rate ourselves but raises it for everyone around us. It’s easy to explain why we are the way we are because we know ourselves best. We’ve spent massive amounts of time looking at and trying to become comfortable with……ourselves. We can own our own ugly. We can fully and boldly say “you don’t know my story.” We can do that so easily and later the same day become enraged on the internet. HOW? After much thought and observation in regards to life I realize we were created with MULTIPLE pros and cons- highlights and lowlights. With that being said: you can never, ever pass every test or overcome every single day. So….when you don’t, do you beat yourself up? Probably. Do you know why? I believe our expectations often surpass our capabilities with ourselves and others. The time we are supposed to be using for re- evaluation and reflecting on lessons learned we spend wallowing in guilt and high amounts of shame wondering what’s wrong with us and why we’ll never be good enough. Imagine a world that lives at both times in two different extremes. On the one hand, were unbothered, right? We are concerned with our business and our business alone. On the other hand, there are people waking up mad on social media over other people’s actions that they don’t personally know. How can a stranger (whom you do not know) frustrate you to that extreme over cultural happenings? Sounds to me like you had some expectations for that stranger. Do you know what I expect from Kanye West……. Nothing. I don’t know him. Sounds simple enough. Now go online. And see the simple become quite complex very quickly. Why do people place so much hope in people? Is it that we cannot find in ourselves? Why are we always looking for someone better than us to follow until they let us down. To me, its never about speaking truth because truth is TRUTH. Quite honestly, we are a sensitive, affirmation based group of people (the human race) This being true, the emphasis for engagement is defined by seeing everything you need to see about how someone feels about you within a tone. The tone is how we convey not only what we think but rather how we feel about a person and their opinions and way of Ife. Thinking differently is not usually what causes friction it’s the disgust for people that are different from us in anyway uncomfortable for us. Once I become disgusted with someone’s point of view I immediately become eliminated from being able to impact that person in a way that is meaningful. At this point, the only thing I can impact them with is judgement which is NOT OUR CALLING. What’s happening here? Does hope become too hard to share, does inspiration become boring? Is jumping to conclusions and writing people off the easy way out? You bet it is. As a matter of fact, it becomes so hard to offer understanding at times that we find ourselves overly frustrated by people that do not share the same values as us because trying to understand them is… simply TOO MUCH WORK. Now the world becomes different because we are looking for people that think the same as us to assist us in using the government and any other means at our disposal to force this person to think the same way as us as well. Has the world become one big high school lunchroom separated by cliques? At the baseline of every disagreement are two people begging the other to try to see things their way. Are we obligated to do so? NOPE. Are we supposed to do our best to offer understanding and if not….. at least offer a tone that doesn’t feel like contempt? YUP. Face it, we have to live together soooooo you mght as well participate in this whole human race thing. I have found that I wasn’t called to be anyone’s jury EVER. I am called to be an advocate. When I cant advocate I wish the best. When I don’t agree I disagree RESPECTFULLY and make sure my tone is felt rather than heard. Here’s the test. Who reaches out to you when they need some grace, some understanding? Is it your friends? Is it your family? Is it people who think like you. I am in the phase of my life where literal strangers reach out to me daily and they don’t all think like me. Were they drawn to me because I’m so great? Nope. I believe the TONE you live your life with either attracts or repels those who need your light the most. So while your over it, ranting every 5 seconds about everyone but you and looking down on those having the hardest time of their life……….. somebody is hoping you’ll wake up and realize your impact on the world just in time to help save their life. This doesn’t mean you have to change how you feel or who you are. This doesn’t mean you have to fake agree or condone. All this means is the only thing that changes is YOUR TONE! The tone of “I’m human too, I’m unhappy sometimes too, I hate others sometimes too whether I admit it or not. 

People don’t need our agreement as we can CLEARLY see. Maybe, it’s time to stop treating them as if they do. We are at our best when our conversations differ from whatever the crowd is saying. The crowd is saying “ We will cancel you.” Im saying, who can I help.? What are you saying?

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